Chapter 0
Part 1: A Dual Introduction
A quiet evening dawned on, er, wherever pang lives. The setting sun shadowed pangâs home, magnifying the darkened crevices of his home, giving the illusion of secrecy taking settlement upon a home that is deserving of the gods. No words could describe such a beautiful home other than those aforementioned. pang sat at his desk, made of smooth mahogany, while the lone light in the home shone brightly from a perfectly crafted Pinkie Pie themed lamp, crafting beautiful poetry while Holy Mountains by System of a Down played on the stereo. pang sat and remarked at his latest creation, âHodor.â Several minutes passed while nothing penetrated the room but peace. Unfortunately, the peace came to a shattering halt when Salvidian burst through the door.
âpAAAAAAANG!!! I wanna talk!â
âWhat!?â
âHey, so remember that story we wrote?â pang sat quietly for a minute examining his twin/husband. The strange appearance of his twin made him neglect many sibling activities; the ninja robes, the beard, it all annoyed him.
âWhat...?â
âThat story we wrote for baby Rip, remember?â
âDude, I have no idea what youâre talking about.â
Salvidian reached into his ninja satchel and retrieved a large, old book. The words âWay of Moderationâ were printed on it.
âYou idiot, prophets Cen and Strop wrote that.â
âNo, no. I mean the sequel, remember? Rip wanted a conclusion to the story but the prophets died long before we were born, so we just made it up!â
âUh...â
Salvidian proceeded to anger, then to rage, then to frustration, before finally exalting. âGod, you drive me nuts! The story! I canât believe you forgot!â. Salvidian pulled another, slightly newer, book out of his satchel.
âTake it!â
pang grabbed the book from his tinier brother. It had the words âI liek diks in ma buttâ printed on it.
âOhhhhh! Right! THIS book!â
âSee, I ainât no crazy man!â
pang looked excited now that his question had been cleared, but his excitement diminished when he realized his mischievous brother had some sort of plan going.
âSo... why did you bring this up?â
âWeeellllll I was thinkinâ we could like, I donât know, share this! I mean itâs such a cool story, ainât it?â
âUgh, I donât know Sal... The WoM is so old... Who wants to read any of that garbage anymore?â
âGod, pang, you see, this is why I hate doing projects with you! Why can we not just show this to everyone! I think itâs a fantastic read, but you hate it!â
pang realized he tickled his brother off by a fair amount at this point (had that not been obvious).
âLook, Sal, to be entirely honest, the WoM happened so long ago. How do we even know what happened in it was true? Why continue a false story?â
âSACRILEGE! IT MUST BE TRUE FOR THE PROPHETS WROTE IT!â
âFine, fine, fine. How about we go over it one last time before making any hasty decisions, okay?â
âOkay, okay.â
Sal and pang wandered over to pangâs magnificent loveseat. It was an amber red and was probably made of extremely nice cushion with a fleece layering on top, a magnificent poster of Freakenstein rested upon the wall above it, adding to the already wonderful ambiance the seat brought. Sal couldnât remember it ever not being there, and pang couldnât remember when he originally bought it. It served the sole purpose of seating two people and thatâs all it ever did.
Sal sat down, er, tried to sit first while pang watched him. Sal was a very short character, about a foot tall, but what he lost in height he gained in adorableness. His multiple but fruitless attempts to jump on the chair were quite humorous in pangâs weathered eyes. Eventually Sal growled, which naturally prompted pang to lift up his beloved partner into the chair. A sigh of thankfulness was given.
pang walked over to the mahogany desk and picked up the WoM sequel. He was careful to not let it be torn by the walk, as the integrity of the binding was before beyond repair. pang sat down next to Sal, almost crushing him. After a brief struggle, the both found comfort in the elegant seat. The two grabbed the old covers, creaked the book open and began to read from the false-but-based-off-maybe-correct-texts-written-by-maybe-real-prophets.
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