Chapter 7: Dang it Clancy!
"Nice to see you again, Ernie," pang says, standing in the lunch line. "And nice to see this meatloaf again..." He pokes the piece of green meat suspiciously.
Ernie sighs. "Nice to see you too. And thank you, that's exactly what I want to hear after making about 600 others all by myself. Also, it's appleloaf, meatloaf that tastes like apples."
"Dude, that's weird."
"Yeah? Well, when you're making lunch for a school, it’s hard not to go overboard," he says as he puts appleloaf on Patrick's tray. It makes a rubbery squelches,(OOC: I'm not sure if Storm did that on purpose so I left the bad grammar) and Patrick eyes it distrustfully.
pang sits down at a table with Storm, R2, Pick, Clancy, Sal, Daleks, Rip, Lauren, Silver, Manly, Nurv and Pie.
"What's going on?" asks pang. The table is unusually silent. The only person talking is R2.
"Apparently R2 has a plan to prank Mr. Unleashed," says Pie, looking glum.
"And it's going to fail," says Silver cheerfully.
"It will not fail!" R2 scowled.
"I guarantee something will go wrong," says Silver annoyingly, "And it'll be because of you."
"We can't be sure it's going to fail already," says Daleks.
"Silver is right," says Nurv. "Any plan R2 has fails."
"That's not true!" R2 scrunched up his robot face.
"Remember your science fair project last year?" Nurv asks. "Frank had to clean glue out of his hair for weeks."
"How was I supposed to know glue wasn't an ingredient in making a fake volcano?" whines R2. "And anyways, this isn't a science project. I'm already ready for the prank. See?" He pulls out two large cans of wax and a large tub of X-TREME SUPER STRENGTH MONKEY GLUY.
Storm picks up a can of wax and licks it. "It's wax, all right," she confirms. “Pretty high-quality wax, too.”
"Where did you get this?" asks Lauren, holding the X-TREME SUPER STRENGTH MONKEY GLUY.
"I asked DayCee for them," replies R2, ignoring Storm. "He said yes."
"When did you have time to do this?" asks Clancy, narrowing his eyes.
"Manly threw up and I had to go get DayCee to clean Unleashed's room." Says R2.
Pick looks at Manly while taking pang's appleloaf, skillfully hiding a grimace of disgust at the spongy texture. "Why did you throw up? And why are you still here if you threw up?"
Manly groans. "You don't want to know."
Everyone but Storm stares at Manly for a few seconds, imagining terrible scenarios. Storm continues to lick the wax. Then Sal speaks up. "What are we doing, exactly?"
"Waxing the floor and then gluing the door shut," says R2, a triumphant smile gracing his features.
"Can we have a bit more detail?" pang raised an eyebrow dubiously.
"Well fine, Pang." mocks R2. The cafeteria goes briefly silent as he says that, and all eyes turn to the site of future confrontation.
pang throws himself at R2. "I'll kill you!" Before he can reach R2, Sal and Rip manage to pull him back in time and hold him still, to the clapping of the other users.
"Don't do it, man!" yells Rip. "It isn't worth the detention."
pang glares at R2. "You’d better watch yourself, robot."
"Can we just hear more about this prank?" Daleks asks as the clapping subsides. "I scheduled a chat with Jennifer Lawrence and I must talk to her soon. Otherwise she’ll think I stood her up."
"Ok. Here's the plan.” Looking around, he spoke in a low, confidential voice. “We wax the floor and glue the side of the door so it’ll stay shut. When he gets in and closes the door, he'll be trapped in a slippery room, but one of us will stand guard in the hall, in case he doesn't close the door."
"That plan actually does sound good, R2." encourages Clancy. "I'm with you."
Storm inhales and says in a loud voice. "I'm in too!" Her words echo through the cafeteria, and the next thing she says is markedly softer. “As long as I can finish the wax later.”
R2 notices teeth marks in the wax and snatches it from her hands. “Give me that!”
Storm looms ominously. R2 starts to cry and apologizes, and Storm ceases to loom ominously and returns to eating chips from her packed lunch. Pie eyes the non-appleloaf food enviously.
Manly notices that Storm and Clancy will be going and has a sudden urge of jealousy. "I'm going to go with you, as well."
Sal pauses. "Count me out. I don't want to be in on a prank on the first day."
pang nods his head. "I agree, with Sal. We're going to be jerks if we do this on the first day."
"I'm not going just because R2 planned it," says Silver, absolutely sure something would go wrong.
Nurv puts a wing on his beak in thought. "I think I'll come." He glances at Storm. "Just because I can."
Daleks also thinks about it. "Well..." Suddenly his phone rings. "Oh man, yes! Jennifer is actually going to chat with me!" He moves away from the table. "Hello? Wow, you sound just like a guy..."
Lauren nods her head. "I'm just not the pranking type."
"Yeah me neither." Rip says, a little too quickly for true honesty.
Pie sits there like a sack of potatoes. "Umm, no. Pranks are stupid and lead to trouble. I just want to enjoy my lunch in peace."
Pick nods his head. "I'll come with you, just to feel Manly's puke."
"Alrighty then," says R2, happy with the results. "Manly, Clancy, Storm, Nurv, and Pick, we're going to have a great time. The rest of you nerds can sit here and cry.”
They arrive outside Unleashed's room.
"You ready to do this?" Asks R2.
"Yeah!" Yell Manly and Clancy, voices ringing with untapped enthusiasm.
Everyone else just mumbles.
R2 pushes on the door, and it opens slowly, creaking. Sliver by sliver, the dark room is revealed.
"Alright, Clancy, you glue the side of the door," orders R2 as he mistakenly trusts Clancy with the X-TREME SUPER STRENGTH MONKEY GLUY. "The rest of us need to wax the floor."
Clancy goes to the door and pours the whole tub of X-TREME SUPER STRENGTH MONKEY GLUY on the side of it. "Guys!" Says Clancy excitedly. "I did it!”
"Great job," comments Pick sarcastically. "Now help us wax it."
Clancy starts walking towards them, but what Clancy does not know is that behind him a sign, held by an arm, is creeping towards the door handle. A corner of the sign grabs the handle of the door. The sign pulls the door quickly but the arm holding the sign quickly got out before the door closed.
Everybody freezes as they all hear the sudden click. R2 gets up slowly and goes to the door. His hand rests on the knob for a few seconds, wondering if it’d just be easier not to try, and not to get everyone’s hopes up.
He halfheartedly turns the door handle and pulls. The door doesn't even budge, and the horror lurking in everyone’s mind is confirmed.
R2 slowly falls to his knees as he leans against the door. "We're trapped."
Everyone looks at Clancy, who is still staring at the door, suspended in disbelief.
"That's why we shouldn't trust Clancy with an important job like that." accuses Nurv.
"It was an accident!" bawls Clancy hysterically.
"When we’ve been here long enough, I’m going to devour Clancy. Then the rest of you will draw straws, and that will determine the order in which you are devoured." Storm rummages through her pockets, looking for one of the packets of ketchup that the cafeteria had offered.
Upon seeing the horrified looks of the others, she added, "What? I deserve to live. I have more of the looks."
"You can say that again," sighs Manly, lovestruck. Storm kicks him in the crotch.
R2 rises from his stance of despair. "Ok, so how do you guys suggest we get out?"
There’s silence for a few seconds, broken only by Manly moaning and rolling around on the ground, insisting that his balls had been ruptured.
"How about the air vents?" offers Pick at length, pointing at a vent too small for any of them to fit through.
"Whale-ears..." sighs R2. "The vent is obviously too small for us," finishes the robot.
"How about the window?" suggests Clancy, noticing the latch.
R2 smiles. "Yes. Good Clancy." The robot pats him on the head, and Clancy smiles.
Pick goes over, turns the latch, and pulls. "It isn't budging," Pick remarks as he continued to try and pull it free.
"Just throw something at the window," says Nurv, while poking through an open textbook.
Manly, who seems to have recovered from having his balls ruptured, picks up a nearby desk and throws it against the window. Unfortunately, the shattering glass sound they all expected to hear did not occur, and instead, the desk rebounded off the glass and hit Clancy, knocking out the hapless Canadian instantly.
"Oops." Manly shuffled his feet guiltily.
Storm sighs. "I guess that'll make him easier to eat." She crouches next to the felled Canadian and begins to chew on one floppy arm after liberally dousing it with ketchup.
All of a sudden Nurv makes the most girlish scream that anyone has ever heard from a teenager already through puberty.
"A rat!" he screams. "Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!"
Nurv swings the math book towards the rodent in a mighty hammer-like gesture. The poor rat would be instantly crushed into a pancake.
Manly looks closer at the running rat and notices a familiar shape about it. "Nurv, stop! That's Ferret!"
Nurv stops with the math book an inch from Ferret's body. "Oh, sorry." Nurv's cheeks turn red from embarrassment.
Ferret runs over to the unconscious Clancy, bypassing Storm gnawing the arm. Ferret licks his face, and Clancy wakes up.
"Ew, stop it,” he says groggily, and Storm, knowing that her unconscious prey would have to be devoured later, backed off. A moment later, Clancy asked, “What happened to my arm?" He points at the ketchup and bitemarks, and a scary thought begins to grow in his mind. “Ferret...Ferret wasn’t eating me, was he?”
Ferret rolls his eyes, and Storm hides a smile behind her hand.
"I can't believe this," R2 says in awe, ignoring Clancy’s shenanigans. "How did Ferret get in here?"
"We could probably write a note and send Ferret off through the vents with the note." Nurv seemed to have gotten over his fear of rats upon realizing that Ferret was not a rat.
R2 smiles at the idea, and tears a piece of paper off Unleash’s memo pad. A few quick lines with a pen, and the note is ready to be transported via Ferret. The little mammal sinks his teeth into the paper, scrabbles into the vent, and is off like a shot. For a moment, they briefly hear his footsteps inside the walls, and then all goes quiet.
"What do we do now?" asks Manly, who still stands near Storm.
R2 gets a dramatic light in his eyes. "We wait."
In the silence that follows, Storm sneaks up to Clancy’s arm and begins to slowly nom on it. Clancy quickly pulls it away from her, but three seconds later, she’s chewing on it again.
Editor: @Stormwalker
Users in story: @R2D21999 @Stormwalker @Clancy @pangtongshu @Ernie15 @Patrick2011 @daleks @Nurvana @themostmanlyman @Ferret @Riptizoid101 @LaurenLouise1507 @Salvidian @Pickpocket @Pieguyme
