My theory is that spiders are in fact a type of demon sent to this world to punish humans.
Exhibit A.
There is no way it evolved.
What evolves with hairy 8 legs, 3 body parts, vibration sensing, swimming abilities, big fangs with venom, natural hunter traits, carnivorous, wing span varying from 1 cm to 1 feet, and has eyes varying from 0 to 300? Nothing but spiders. They are specifically designed to haunt humans and mock them with their unnatural form.
Exhibit B
They are evil.
To prove this we must first ask the question what were the first "true" spiders named? They are named the Attercopus. It means poison head. They will poison you and strike fear into your very soul and state of mind unlike any other animal.
Exhibit C They want to kill you.
Spiders that can actually harm you (and **** well know they can) on a physical level they will run after you if you threaten them. That's right. They run for you not away from you like a normal animal or bug. They run towards your *** and try to bite you in order to murder you and devour your soul if threatened, thrill seeking, bored, or low on souls. But the difference between a spider and more hostile animal say a lion is that a lion will give up when it knows that you are the human with the superior brain, superior weaponry, and have thumbs. When a spider engages in combat it will do it's very best to kill you. You can spray soapy water at it and shoot two of its legs off with a Nerf gun (which I have done) and it will still try to kill you to it's dying breath because it hates humans because it is a demon.
Exhibit D
They invade our homes on purpose.
What animal sneaks into a humans house armed to the teeth (literally) and hangs out in the corner of your room to stalk you (most likely to determine the best moment to harvest your soul). No animal, bug, fish, or insect will do this. Sometimes a deer or something will come into a humans home because it doesn't know any better or maybe a racoon will be like "this dude isn't using his basement so I think I will." but you see spiders do not walk in by mistake or look for a nice place to live in because it's not smart enough to know that humans don't like random animals living with them. Spiders invade your home in a search and assassinate mission. They come into your home and hang out in the corner waiting for the perfect moment to kill you or they go for a full scale invasion and lay eggs in your house and radio in back up to have more of its allies ready to kill you. Why? Because they are demons who want to reduce the human race into ashes. It's happened to me before but I successfully defeated and killed most of the invaders with pencils, sprays, a remote control, and a chair.
In conclusion spiders are soul eating demons who want to destroy the human race.
You complain about spiders, but that... this is what humanity has come down to...? I think we hit the bottom of the barrrel guys.
The problem is not killing spiders.
Rats don't hunt mosquitoes, or flies, or even most garden pests; neither do most lizards.
House lizards will. Actually any meat eating animal will eat insects or spiders in your house. I would know, I've had a two dogs a rabbit and looked after two birds for a while (don't get a bird they don't shut up).
He chose to post this in the WEPR section instead of the tavern, he has brought it upon himself I could ignore it, but I happen to like spiders...
CSGO 1v1?
What about cute dancing pea**** spiders?
No.
Only someone with little knowledge on the ecological impact of spiders could come up with such conjectures.
Please tell me what goes out hunting for spiders. Nothing, nothing goes out hunting for spiders. Because they are demons. What do spiders hunt for? They don't hunt. They eat and kill whatever screws with them or whatever is closest. Lets say we have deer, grass, hawk, fern, rabbit, lizard, moth, ants, and spider (huntsman spider to be more specific). All of them are connected in one way or the other but spider is just connected to bloody everything that isn't a plant. Literally when you put a huntsman spider on the food web it will eat everything that is not a plant or at least kill or do serious harm to it for fun. Now let us take huntsman spider out. Yay nothing changed, lets go kill them now.
Why, then, is it more hostile? What about the lions who have not learned to avoid humans?
It will get shot or will get after harming (or killing) a human because humans kill animals that kill humans, normally out of fear and typically executed by a law (despite the fact that many humans won't kill other humans that kill other humans despite humans also being animals).
You brutally amputated two of its limbs with a blunt ballistic weapon, and somehow this makes it a demon?
It tried to jump at me with intent of murder and soul harvesting.
House lizards will. Actually any meat eating animal will eat insects or spiders in your house. I would know, I've had a two dogs a rabbit and looked after two birds for a while (don't get a bird they don't shut up).
House lizards ≠ Most lizards.
Please tell me what goes out hunting for spiders. Nothing, nothing goes out hunting for spiders.
Literally when you put a huntsman spider on the food web it will eat everything that is not a plant or at least kill or do serious harm to it for fun. Now let us take huntsman spider out. Yay nothing changed, lets go kill them now.
Evidence first. Plenty of time for baseless claims afterward.
It will get shot or will get after harming (or killing) a human because humans kill animals that kill humans, normally out of fear and typically executed by a law (despite the fact that many humans won't kill other humans that kill other humans despite humans also being animals).
So, essentially, you're saying there was really no point to that part of your argument? Interesting.
It tried to jump at me with intent of murder and soul harvesting.
No. Its intention was clearly to move you out of the path of the malaria-infected mosquito that was going for your juggular. No doubt it then risked life and limb to capture and disable the fiendish parasite, sparing you from a horrible fate at the metaphorical hands of the real villain.
You have no heart. No wonder spiders attack you. My pet spiders were totally shocked when I told them of your reaction.
Please tell me what goes out hunting for spiders.
Birds, parasitic wasps, other spiders. Also house cats if you have pet tarantulas.
What do spiders hunt for? They don't hunt.
They hunt, they stalk, they prey upon. Several spiders actively hunt, like some jumping spiders that hunt other spiders.
Then there's the one herbivorous species among spiders, Bagheera kiplingi.
Literally when you put a huntsman spider on the food web it will eat everything that is not a plant or at least kill or do serious harm to it for fun.
No it won't.
As I once pointed out already, most spiders are too small to actually harm larger vertebrates.
In Conclusion: I have been led to seriously believe the OP may suffer from arachnophobia (which btw is one of the 10 most common Phobias across the world)
In Conclusion: I have been led to seriously believe the OP may suffer from arachnophobia
I'm not afraid of spiders. Ever since I've lived in a place where spiders are rare but some how still manage to invade my home (the ones that will actually harm you) I have come to hate them with a burning passion. They know that I know they are demons and are trying to kill me. There is clearly no other rational as to why a huge African spider came into my house, I'm not kidding I am so serious about this like I don't even think my state supports their living here in anyway.
It's not racist I actually do a lot of research on spiders (despite saying that spiders have 3 body parts) and could determine that it was a spider not found in the U.S because spiders in the U.S.A just aren't that big (in terms of size).
It's not racist I actually do a lot of research on spiders (despite saying that spiders have 3 body parts) and could determine that it was a spider not found in the U.S because spiders in the U.S.A just aren't that big (in terms of size).
What are you talking about, we have freaking tarantulas in the US. Also, if you go a little south you can find the largest spider on the planet (which just so happens to be part of the tarantula family). Why would you say a spider would have to be from Africa to be big if you did any kind of research? Why would you even believe that if you live in the U.S.A.? I've been killing tarantulas since I first learned to walk, you'd have to be extremely ignorant and/or racist to believe only African spiders are big.
You said an African spider came into your house for no other reason than because it was a demon. Clearly this is racism, because you said "African" and something easily interpreted as "breaking and entering." This is basically you admitting you think all black people are criminals, isn't it. Spiders are bad, so black people are bad because they're both from Africa and you apparently don't want either of them in your house. Maybe you should just put up a big sign outside that says "I think black people are demons and want to steal all my stuff" so people won't feel as bad for punching you in your racist face.
I suggest this thread be moved to The Tavern. It wasn't supposed to be here to begin with, and now it is spiralling downwards
