Its release timing is idiotic
Alright, yes, the Wii U should have spent a few more years in the development labs. But you need to look at this from Nintendo's perspective: they wanted to maintain their cheapness while battling the "decaying corpses" (how you put it). From their perspective, they wanted to put something out there while the competition was fading away. Knowing Nintendo, I can't say it'll be very long before they develop another console to compete with the X1 and the PS4 as they begin to fade away. Really, it was a good idea, but they'll have to take the pain of practically bombing the 8th generation in order to make up for it later.
game library is tiny (and unremarkable)
Unless you're a Nintendo fan! Nintendo needs that loyalty to survive, and boy, does it ever keep them alive. I wouldn't be surprised if people bought their console solely for the purpose of being able to play the next SSB game. Really, diehard Nintendo fans are pretty excited: we've got Metroid, Mario, Zelda, Pokemon, and a dozen other series coming.
I certainly can't wait. I don't care if the console sucks as long as the games don't.
When you say unremarkable, I gotta headbutt with you a little. Nintendo games and characters are pretty iconic - you'd have to be an idiot to deny that. All I say is give it some time because Nintendo does everything a little differently. Look at it from the Nintendo fanboy's perspective.
there's no multiplayer community and third party support is very weak next to the two other major consoles
Which we've seen with the Wii already. The Wii and the Wii U won't be known for their Multiplayer, I can assure you that. You're looking at Nintendo's weak spots and are overlooking the positives. You're one pessimistic person if you truly believe the Wii U contains NOTHING valuable. It will have great games, because that's where Nintendo's power truly lays.
meaning there's very little to no reason to pick this up over a proper console.
1. The Wii U isn't a proper console? It fits the definition:
The portion of a computer or peripheral that houses the apparatus used to operate the machine manually and provides a means of communication between the computer operator and the central processing unit, often in the form of a keyboard.2. How did you come to that conclusion? It seems like you're jumping the gun a little bit.
The stupid control scheme is not even close to revolutionary (oh geez, a touchscreen, never seen that)
Yes, it is a little boring. They basically took the DS and made it into a console.
and flawed at its very core - why the hell would I look away from my god**** game. There's literally no utility a pause menu couldn't have given me. The only thing it's going to be any good for is making it even more hellish for Nintendo to find third party support, because we've learned from the Wii that developers largely won't give enough of a crap to implement the gimmick to its "fullest potential" or, worse yet, won't port games at all.
Actually, if you'd try the **** console instead of bashing it, you'd see that many games take advantage of the touchscreen and use it to the fullest they can. All it takes is a little creativity from the devs.
The controller itself is a cumbersome, poorly designed piece of hardware with zero battery life.
How is it poorly designed? It gets the job done. How does it have zero battery life? My controller lasts up to four hours, and that seems like a good amount of time to play. Besides, there are games that don't require the player to use the controller, but an old Wii remote.
