Meh, I was going to let the original get down a few more pages, but I decided to make the sequel already.
Teh Creator: O hai. I'm not quite done fixing this reality, but there's enough to make you do something. Hey, it's not the best, but it's a life. Let's start with teh first and last parts I merged, plus a little from another reality nearby...
Objective: Destroy the Shadow Tank-Cat! HP: 500 Status: Null Helpful information: It's a tank. cat. tankcat.
Objective: Blaze through the armies! Current Army: Zerg Brood Total strength: 500/1500 Units: Mutalisks: Giant flying intestinal tracts that fire bouncing glaives. That is all.
Other Units: Space Railgun: The Space Railgun y'all failed to destroy. Being in space, it is invulnerable for now.
Defenders:
Ally Units: Laser Eye Cat: A Psych-Class Cheezburgian that has powered the Cheezburgian power Eye.
@Razerules: You now know Rank 1 Field Medicine! You can now heal one hurt person to health per turn, except yourself. However, Critical is a bit over your league as of yet.
@sonicheroes95: To be honest, I agree with Raze, except I know you were using Kingdom Hearts.
You kill exactly 10 Mutalisks.
@rick073: Way to be completely heroic and absolutely stupid. You and the army are dead.
//TRANSMISSION INCOMING//
Alright men, we can move our base forward. Please stand by and perhaps upgrade your abilities while we work out the options.
It's a damn shame about Rick. Know that he died a hero, and not as a fool without a plan. With the way technology's moving, we could rebuild him, but not quite yet. Until then, we won't have time for a proper funeral, so we have to make do with the infirmary cold storage.
Also, it appears that most of the military groups won't adknowledge any involvement, so we can rest easy that we won't be facing charges. However, we also won't be facing any support.
Finally, Commander 7 will have to prove himself worthy of his medal after losing the Space Railgun. If that doesn't convenially help us later, so help me god I will personally rip that badge off your uniform and shove you back to that colonial hell where we found you.