Just add on to the story, but no cuss words or innapropiate scenes! I know i will never be as good as Gantic, but i can still try!
It all started with a dream, in which Jack "crossed over" and lived another life in Sajaculam. This world was at war with itself. Jack aided the rebels who did not want to sacrifice their materials and goods to the government, that sat around all day.(sounds like our government, right?)
Jack saw his friend Stan on the roof of a greenhouse. "POTATOES!!!" shouted Jack at the top of his lungs. Stan slipped off the roof and fell into a pit of fire. Jack laughed at his friend's hilarious misfortune while Stan ran around screaming. This made Jack laugh some more, until he looked at the side of the road and saw a pen. Jack was mesmerized by this ordinary pen until he smelled the burning flesh once again. This made Jack laugh some more, but then he realized Stan had over $200 in his pocket.
I might as well contribute a few lines while I'm here...
A storm approached in Sajaculam. Almost instantly, the heavy rain extinguished the flames that had embodied Stan just seconds ago. Stan knew that Jack could not have done anything to help him, as he was paralyzed from the waist-down in addition to being frightfully sadistic. Jack wheeled over to his severely burned friend and slapped him across the face. "You know you would do the same for me, Stanley." "Would I?" Stan replied. Instantly a 2x4 fell from the sky and struck Stan directly in the eye. "Now where did that come from?" Jack asked, more to himself than to his friend. "Beats me," replied Stan. Less than two seconds after Stan said this, a large hand appeared out of the sky, picked up the 2x4, and began to beat Stan with it. "Hey, cut that out!" Stan yelled at the sky. The hand dropped the 2x4, picked up a scalpel, and cut Stan's appendix out. "Someone up there can't stand me," muttered Stan. All of a sudden, the storm passed and a large booming voice emitted from the sky, followed by two large feet that fell right onto Stan's bleeding chest. "Challenge accepted." All this time, Jack watched these supernatural occurrences from his chair but remained unimpressed. "Show off."
Jack ate a burrito and called 911. "HALLOOOOOOO 911, THIS IS JACK. I WAS WONDER IF YOU COULD GIVE ME A RIDE TO SAN ANTONIO TEXAS PLZZ." "BLAURRHUAGUHAGARRRRHG!" replied 911. Stan got up and noticed a pen. It was the same pen Jack had noticed earlier. He jumped up, grabbed the pen, and ran towards Jack. He rammed it through Jack's ear screaming "THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD! THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD!" Jack pulled out his revolver and shot Stan in the heart. "SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND YOU'RE TO BLAME. YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME!" And then Stan died.
And then, the $200 bill in Stan's wallet came to life and granted Jack 3 wishes.
For the 1st wish, Jack wished that his half eaten burrito came to life.
His wish was granted and the burrito snatched the revolver from Jack's other hand and shot the $200 dead before Jack could make his 2nd and 3rd wishes. Ignoring the $200 bill's corpse, the burrito aimed the revolver at Jack.
"WHY DID YOU WISH FOR MY EXISTENCE?! WHY! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME SUFFER! THE BITE MARKS! THE SUFFERING! THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE!" Wallowed the half eaten burrito in agony.
As the Burrito corked the hammer on the revolver and before he pulled the trigger, a gigantic carrot fell from the sky and landed on the Burrito. In his dying breath, it muttered, "Thank you...."
Mr Carrot walked over to Jack and gave him an aspirin tablet. Then he grabbed a microphone and started singing karaoke. Jack could not understand what Mr Carrot was singing because it was in Laotian, but he took the aspirin tablet that the carrot gave him and it all started to make sense. The aspirin tablet was actually LSD. All of a sudden, Jack could understand everything Mr Carrot was singing. It was as though the acid also had a hint of Rosetta Stone mixed in.
But Jack instantly regretted swallowing the tablet, because as soon as he could understand what Mr Carrot was singing, he wished he could rip his eardrums out of his ears. What Jack heard was the most evil set of Satanic lyrics he had ever come across, and for the first time in his life, Jack actually wished that he could end his own life.
But what followed the music was far worse than the music itself, and Jack soon realized exactly what was going on before his very eyes. The corpses of the burrito and the $200 bill hovered over to about 10 feet from Jack's right and left respectively, while Mr Carrot and the karaoke machine drifted to equidistant points from the two corpses. Almost immediately, a white pentagram appeared in the bloody terrain, each point being where a corpse or living entity lay.
And Stan's body lay directly in the center.
The corpse of the rare $200 bill instantly ripped to shreds while large bite marks appeared in the burrito. The karaoke machine turned off, and Mr Carrot turned white and fell to the ground. Jack could feel his own life being sucked from his body; his face was melting in his hands as his chair sank deeper into the ground.
All of a sudden, Stan's corpse sat up, and glared at Jack with completely red eyes and his mouth agape. After a few seconds, he summoned the pen that was still in Jack's ear and scribbled an "A" on his name tag between the "S" and the "T".
And his name was changed to SATAN. An he then called upon all his demons and angels to kill him. but then jack brought out 2 revolvers and shot him quickly unloading both of his guns. Then through a strange passage of rite he became SATAN!
Jack stared at his hands out of Dismay, looking at his Newly transformed Demonic claws.
Jack was distraught, having transformed into the monster that he was always again... There was only one right thing to do...
Jack pointed both revolvers at the temple head whilst the Angels and Demons watched. Jack closed his eyes, thinking only about the happy memories and then, he pulled both triggers.
Jack's body fell to the ground as the mist of red blood lingered in the air. Jack thought it was finally over... But it wasn't.
The Burrito, resurrected by dark powers, used his newfound arcane might and transformed Jack's corpse to an Eldrich horror. The Burrito malignly laughed at his creation.
It was excruciating for the unholy revived Jack, the curse of the Eldrich transformation and the Embodiment of Satan bore unbearable anguish for him. He soon realised it was the Burrito's revenge for putting him under the curse of Existence.
"NOW YOU SHALL FEEL THE PAIN YOU HAVE PLACE ME THROUGH! I CONTROL YOU NOW, SPAWN OF SATAN! NOW MY MINION, BRING CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION TO THE WHOLE OF SAJACULAM! ENSLAVE ALL OF MANKIND FOR YOUR MASTER! MR. BURRITO!"
Jack Had no choice but to comply. With his mighty tentacle, he commanded his Army of Angels and Demons to wreck havoc throughout all.
My Carrot Regained consciousness, and was appalled by what he has done... He only knew what has to be done; he had to stop thee Burrito who is now riding on the Eldrich horror. My carrot reached for the 2 revolvers with his carroty arms and put on a pair of sunglasses on him that he looted from Stan's bloody satanic corpse.
And then an epic battle insued! Mr. Carrot mopped the floor with satan and the burrito. he roundhoused, punched, bit, spat at, and utterly destroyed them!
