Forums → The Tavern → [necro] Spiders are a form of demon and should be purged.
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My theory is that spiders are in fact a type of demon sent to this world to punish humans.Not a real theory, sorry.
What evolves with hairy 8 legs, 3 body parts, vibration sensing, swimming abilities, big fangs with venom, natural hunter traits, carnivorous, wing span varying from 1 cm to 1 feet, and has eyes varying from 0 to 300?Absolutely nothing outside of fiction. There is no such thing as a winged, three-segmented octopod with anywhere near 300 eyes.
To prove this we must first ask the question what were the first "true" spiders named? They are named the Attercopus. It means poison head. They will poison you and strike fear into your very soul and state of mind unlike any other animal.1 Well, those aren't true spiders. The distinction between Uraraneida and Araneae is explained in the next two paragraphs of the same article.
2 The name doesn't prove a thing. Members of the genus Hydra derive their name from the deadly Lernaean Hydra of Greek legend; a creature with toxic breath, more toxic blood, and innumerable heads. They have a maximum size of ~1cm and are a danger to zooplankton only.
3 As for fear induction, I think you may be forgetting something.
Spiders that can actually harm you (and **** well know they can) on a physical level they will run after you if you threaten them. That's right.No, it isn't.
They run for you not away from you like a normal animal or bug.No, they don't. Solifugids might, but solifugids aren't spiders either.
They run towards your *** and try to bite you in order to murder you and devour your soul if threatened, thrill seeking, bored, or low on souls.Murder requires, among other things, the legal personhood of both parties, so no. The rest of the statement will not be dignified with a response.
But the difference between a spider and more hostile animal say a lion is that a lion will give up when it knows that you are the human [...]Why, then, is it more hostile? What about the lions who have not learned to avoid humans?
[...] with the superior brain, [...]Don't make me laugh.
You can spray soapy water at it and shoot two of its legs off with a Nerf gun (which I have done) and it will still try to kill you to it's dying breath because it hates humans because it is a demon.You brutally amputated two of its limbs with a blunt ballistic weapon, and somehow this makes it a demon?
but you see spiders do not walk in by mistake or look for a nice place to live in because it's not smart enough to know that humans don't like random animals living with them.Of course not. They don't even know they're inside a manmade structure. Their eyes aren't nearly sophisticated enough for that kind of spacial mapping and terrain recognition.
It's happened to me before but I successfully defeated and killed most of the invaders with pencils, sprays, a remote control, and a chair.So, you've managed to gain the upper hand, despite being assassinated and zombified by demonic spiders on numerous occasions? Interesting.