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Unfortunately, the time machine was stepped on by a dinosaur proclaiming: "I am a stegosaurus!"

Fortunately,
A giant elephant eats it.

Unfortunately, the elephant implodes and brings famine to the North Pole.

Fortunately, this is still in the past, so this does not affect anyone of us today.

Unfortunately, the butterfly effect occurred causing a disease that was previously non-lethal to become lethal towards them

Fortunately, "them" is referring to mosquitoes.

Unfortunately, the mosquitoes then infect the human populace

Fortunately the disease does nothing to humans.

Unfourtunately, the giant pillow is still on the loose

Fortunately, it does absolutely nothing.

unfortunately, it feels very comfy.

Fortinutely,that's good...comphy=good.

Unfortunately,
I`m still there,and I have no idea who Shoemajor is.
Also I put bad glyceryn in the pillow.

Fortunately, you spring a trap which sends you to South Africa.

Unfortunately,
I found the elephant.